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A Comparison of the Floods of Gilgamesh and Genesis

This compare and contrast considers two flood myths: the story of Utnapishtim in the Epic of Gilgamesh and the story of Noah in Genesis (KJV). The student notes that both stories offer similar lessons for readers rooted in the themes of divine punishment.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"You are off to a good start with this draft, with clear evidence you've spent time with both texts. Your next steps should address organization and presentation, and how these higher-order elements of structure can help the reader comprehend the purpose of the compare and contrast.

First, let's look at the body paragraphs versus the conclusion. In the conclusion, you emphasize the importance of the flood stories' themes and lessons: does your body paragraph order match up with this focus? I would suggest starting the discussion with the length of the floods may not help the reader understand the purpose of the paper because it frontloads a focus on contrasting to find inconsistencies. You use direct evidence with good signal phrases, but without a clear connection to the thesis (how does analyzing the inconsistencies indicate the stories' importance?), that length and detail can throw off the balance.

You'll notice I used the conclusion to check against the body paragraphs -- my next recommendation is to make sure the thesis and main claims that you present at the bottom of the paper also appear at the beginning. Expanding the introduction will help point the reader in the right direction, providing a roadmap for how to read the body paragraphs. By directing the reader more firmly, you guarantee their attention and comprehension. The intro is also a great place to give some context for how and where the flood stories appear in each of the two texts. Proofreading to clean up errors that are impacting clarity will also facilitate the reading experience; however, I suggest first focusing on the higher-order elements we've discussed."

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