In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). The united nations is an effective peacekeeping force. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-united-nations-is-an-effective-peacekeeping-force-uIHu5z2M
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Bob's feedback:
"It's clear that you have some strong opinions about the UN, and you've begun to accumulate some ideas that can be organized into a strong paper. However, this essay needs substantial work.
It would be best to start with a thesis statement that you then support throughout the paper. If your thesis statement is that the UN is an effective peacekeeping force, for example, make sure you provide evidence of that. At times, you claim that the UN has been effective at peacekeeping, but your essay does not provide any examples of that effectiveness. You mention some conflicts that have occurred, some of which are still happening, and it's unclear whether the UN was involved and what progress it may have made. Consider creating an outline of your essay with a thesis statement for your introduction and a main idea that supports it in each of the following paragraphs.
Conversational phrases like "Ya of course" are out of place in an academic essay. Many of the sentences are difficult to follow and it would be a good idea to work with an editor to work on clarity and focus. There is also a lot of repetition, such as the term "vested" in the second paragraph."
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In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). The united nations is an effective peacekeeping force. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-united-nations-is-an-effective-peacekeeping-force-uIHu5z2M
In-text citation:
("The United Nations Is an Effective Peacekeeping Force.")
Works Cited entry:
"The United Nations Is an Effective Peacekeeping Force." Kibin, 2024, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-united-nations-is-an-effective-peacekeeping-force-uIHu5z2M
Footnote:
1. "The United Nations Is an Effective Peacekeeping Force." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-united-nations-is-an-effective-peacekeeping-force-uIHu5z2M.
Bibliography entry:
"The United Nations Is an Effective Peacekeeping Force." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-united-nations-is-an-effective-peacekeeping-force-uIHu5z2M.
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