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Bipolar is defined as manic-depressive illness a psychiatric condition characterized by episodes of mania exaggerated euphoria alternating with periods of depression httpmywebmdcomcontentarticle168050558 I inherited the condition from my father I am told that at the time there was no treatment other than spending time in a mental institution I had 2 aunts and one cousin that also had the disease They all killed themselves My days used to begin with me trying to convince myself to get out of bed and go to work There was a boulder on my chest that I had to lift just to get to the shower Once I was at work I would sit at my desk praying that no one would ask the most dreaded of questions Inevitably someone would say How are you I was instantly reduced to a quivering squalling mass of flesh If only they hadnt asked Bipolar is debilitating It requires a daily fight to convince yourself that you are not crazy to convince those around you that you cannot just snap out of it and to find the treatment that works for you I have found in the last year the recovery I once thought impossible Am I Crazy I thought I was crazy I couldnt function like my sisters I would be fine one minute and in tears the next for no apparent reason There should be a reason Right Sometimes I would just sit in the floor in the bathroom and cry My family and friends would ask what was wrong and I couldnt tell them It was nothing and it was everything When I think back on it I know they must have felt helpless I think I dreaded the up moments the most I would have times when I was in a great mood I always knew that they would be followed by a deep depression or low I hated it I couldnt enjoy being up It
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