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Word Count: 693
Writing Well by Donald Hall is an amazingly interesting textbook I cannot remember reading an instructional manual with such brilliant imagery flowing style and amazing concepts This is what education should be interesting provocative and natural However in the first eleven pages of the text I do not agree with two of the three analyses of Halls examples In the comparison of the college students two expressions of his first impression of his dorm Hall disregards the first passage as sloppy slangy and fragmentary He praises the second passage as suspenseful and detailed and suggests that the author has made great strides and has put some thought into creating a scene I however find the second passage to be dull and watered-down over-edited and false sounding Although the first passage could be improved by explaining where he was what the disaster entailed and who the funny-looking guy was its honesty far outweighs the literary correctness of the second passage Once again in Halls analysis of the narratives of Nina Chan he seems to be putting too much focus on what is correct and not enough on what makes an interesting work of literature The impromptu theme does rely heavily on clichs in the first few sentences however the narrative uses so much language in avoiding the clichs that the first six paragraphs in the 13-paragraph essay close to half of the narrative are utterly boring and colorless Furthermore the What did I see arrangement in paragraphs 4-6 attempts to elicit some kind of emotion and utterly fails Assuming that these three paragraphs could be considered a short story although it is not fictional the story then does not meet Edgar Allen Poes definition of the purpose of a short story to elicit a single emotional response Then again it may elicit a single emotional response boredom Fortunately Chan manages to turn her story around by writing a stellar climax and falling action in paragraphs 7-13
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