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Coping with Miscarriage The Male Perspective Fathers who have experienced stillbirth infant death or miscarriage walk a uniquely sorrowful and challenging pathKfacing the intense challenge of parenting a child who cannot be physically held tickled or read to Drury 1 One of the hardest things a couple may face in their lifetimes is the tragedy of miscarriage also known as spontaneous abortion While the loss of a loved one is always hard losing a child that youve never had the chance to hold is an especially difficult challenge There is very little sense of closure because in some ways there was never a proper beginning This is not to say that people dont love the child that they have lost it simply means that it becomes very hard to say goodbye when you havent even gotten to say Hello Its an accepted fact that this is an extremely difficult issue for a mother who experiences a miscarriage However we often overlook the pain confusion and anguish that the father of the unborn child feels It is not something you ever recover from emotionallyK Men often find it very hard to talk about their deep emotional feelingsK subsequently the effect of miscarriage on men is often under-estimatedqtdin Blacklock 4 There is no set formula for coping with it That can be maddening for many men because they generally feel as if they must fix things Unfortunately there is no way to fix the pain that they and the mother feel However by educating themselves about the causes of miscarriage the frequency of it and by learning about other peoples experiences and their methods of coping with personal tragedy men may be able to deal with their partners grief and their own more effectively Many people who have been through this difficulty have found it useful to know more about the issue There is an enormous wealth of information published
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