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An Introduction to Beautiful and Amazing Saturn

This informative essay on the planet Saturn describes its characteristics, moons, and the NASA missions (Pioneer, Voyager, Cassini) that have brought back information and images of the planet's rings and atmosphere.
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This essay received an A by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received an A by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

saturn
Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"This essay really captures the reader's attention by balancing source-based facts with a tone of wonder and curiosity. The overall discussion moves logically and smoothly, both within and across the paragraphs, guiding the reader through the details at a good pace. I notice some overlapping moments that can be worked with a bit further. These are fairly small moments but may represent opportunities to finetune the writing and the presentation. For example, you tell us in the introduction that Jupiter is the largest planet, repeating this information in para. 3; an alternative to this is to make the point about Saturn being the second largest in the introduction and waiting for para. 3 to explain that only Jupiter is bigger. This helps avoid repetition and makes for a more efficient introduction.

Let's also take a quick look at the last sentence. Reading it carefully, we see it claims that Saturn is "the most interesting and amazing" because of the discoveries and photos--this seems a little solipsistic and backwards. Consider, instead, the following: "Thanks to these discoveries and close-ups, we are able to see the exquisite characteristics that make Saturn the most interesting and amazing planet in the solar system.""

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