1. Home

An Analysis and an Introduction to Teenage Drinking

This is a research essay about teenage drinking. The piece's author conducted a survey and was surprised by how much teenage drinking occurs. The author also discusses the effects alcohol has on the body along with binge drinking, alcoholism, and when those suffering from alcoholism should start treatment.
PAGES
5
WORDS
1,598
  Cite
View Full Essay
About this essay
This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

teenage drinking
Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley
Generating Preview...
This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

teenage drinking
Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jenn's feedback:

"You have done a great job with many aspects of your paper. With a little bit of fine-tuning and work, including an introduction and elaborating on your conclusion, you can significantly improve your essay. Unfortunately, the organization of the paper tends to impact almost all of the other aspects. When you do not have an introduction that ends with a clear and concise thesis statement, the purpose of your paper is not as straightforward as it should be. Then, if you do not have a conclusion that summarizes the main points you made in the paper's body, and you do not relate that summary to the thesis statement, it is not clear that you stayed focused on your topic. Nevertheless, the content of your paper is off to a great start.

To make your paper read more scholarly, I advise you to remove interjections and opinionated language. I also suggest that you make sure that any factual information from other sources is cited to avoid plagiarism issues. Rather than making a list of statistics that you found, I would also recommend putting them in paragraph form.

Your formatting is excellent. Neat formatting helps improve reading comprehension and cohesion of the writing. The only recommendation I have is to remove extra space between paragraphs. Last, you have a reasonably good handle on writing conventions, but some grammar, sentence structure, and punctuation errors are scattered throughout the writing that need to be resolved."

Learn more about this feedback