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Word Count: 1,026
Mona waving the multicolored flashlight Our setting is a very boring planet in the middle oftwo points in the galaxy This planet is doomed for destruction by the Galactic HyperspacePlanning Council to make way for a hyperspatial express route that will run through our starsystem This is a special report from The United Relocation Committee in the hopes of preparingthe majority of the population for the inevitable move to Earth This report is designed to helpwith synthesizing our Altarian culture to that of the Earth Earth as you all know is the bestchance for creating homeostatic environment between two cultures one of which is ours sincetheirs is considered Mostly Harmless by some standards We as intelligent being on our planetmust learn to live by a few of these new social rules that Earth calls ethicssaid with a bit ofan accent We have set up a program so that you may learn Earth customs and ethics alongwith our most veteran space explorer Lieutenant Dodge de Neon as he investigates Earth Thecountries that were selected were not at random It is quite simple really The United RelocationCommittee chose countries that are believed to be the purposed accepting end of about 556 ofall archaic signals that have for some unknown reason been noticeable for twenty-three minuteson a few old broadcasting channels that are still used to check for intelligent life on other planets The countries that have sent most of the broadcasting are believed not to need such necessaryvisits as those on the receiving end because all these special broadcasts will be aired every daybetween eight and ten dm in the hopes of teaching everyone all about these countries with leastamount of Altarian tax dollars being spent Focus in on the small car arriving in country aHere is our spatial habitual machine carrying Lieutenant de Neon to Earth The first country onour list is Pakistan Oh dear The lieutenant is coming in too fast Here on our screens
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