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Word Count: 505
Many people spend a whole lifetime trying to repair a wounded self For these voiceless people every action and interaction serves the purpose of finding something of value within themselves Traditionally psychologists have termed such people narcissists but this is a misnomer To the outside world it appears that these people love themselves Yet at their core they dont love themselves--in fact their self barely exists and what part does exist is deemed worthless All energy is devoted to inflating the self like a persistent child trying to blow up a balloon with a hole Unfortunately such people cannot hear others spouse lover or friends and especially not children They focus entirely on repairing and protecting their own ego Usually they are unaware of their deafness--in fact they may believe they hear better than anyone else this belief of course is another attempt at self-inflation damaging therapists often fit this profile Because they need proof of the significance of their voice they must find people particularly important people to hear them If they are not heard they feel worthless or worse they feel they dont exist They are interested in listening only to the extent that it allows them the opportunity to give advice or share a similar and either better or worse depending upon which has more impact incident that happened to them Many engage in sham listening appearing to be very attentive because they want to look good Because of their underlying neediness these people often work their way to the center of their circle or the top of their organization Indeed they may be the mentor or guru for others The second they are snubbed however they rage at their enemy with venom What makes it difficult to help these people is their self-deception The processes they use to protect themselves are ingrained from early childhood As a result they are absolutely unaware of their constant
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