In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). The dangers of steroid use and blood doping in athletics. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-dangers-of-steroid-use-and-blood-doping-in-athletics-EsqdUrnW
This preview is partially blurred. Sign up to view the complete essay.
View other essays like this one:
Bridget's feedback:
"Your essay shows good control over the paragraph organization and structures, and your writing is mechanically sound; with a thorough proofread, you should be able to catch and resolve existing technical issues (occasional punctuation errors, for example).
Clarity is an issue across the essay at a few levels, so I recommend focusing your next steps there. First, what type of steroid is to be the focus of the essay (all types of steroids?) and within each paragraph as the discussion develops is not always immediately clear. At some points while reading, I wondered if the essay topic is actually performance enhancement in sports. Think over your intentions, plans, and the prompt. Once settled on, this issue can be resolved with more explicit signposting and more control over the organization as a tool for guiding the reader's understanding of the big picture.
In para. 1, make sure to provide a citation for your quote and signal phrasing or similar to help integrate the quote. Again, and as discussed above, providing context as part of the signal or introductory phrasing as you move into the quote will help reader comprehension. A works cited or consulted (depending on your style guide and assignment) will help establish credibility and clarify for the reader your work with the literature (ethos). In doing this, you can start introducing the sources into the essay as citations; for example, back up the claims about the dangers of steroids, as in the final sentence, which makes a fairly extreme point ("kill them"); ditto sentence two of para. 1 ("can do things most people consider physically impossible")."
Learn more about this feedback
In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). The dangers of steroid use and blood doping in athletics. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-dangers-of-steroid-use-and-blood-doping-in-athletics-EsqdUrnW
In-text citation:
("The Dangers of Steroid Use and Blood Doping in Athletics.")
Works Cited entry:
"The Dangers of Steroid Use and Blood Doping in Athletics." Kibin, 2024, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-dangers-of-steroid-use-and-blood-doping-in-athletics-EsqdUrnW
Footnote:
1. "The Dangers of Steroid Use and Blood Doping in Athletics." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-dangers-of-steroid-use-and-blood-doping-in-athletics-EsqdUrnW.
Bibliography entry:
"The Dangers of Steroid Use and Blood Doping in Athletics." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-dangers-of-steroid-use-and-blood-doping-in-athletics-EsqdUrnW.
You know how looking at a math problem similar to the one you're stuck on can help you get unstuck? Reading example essays works the same way!
Here are some ways our essay examples library can help you with your assignment:
Read our Academic Honor Code for more information on how to use (and how not to use) our library.
Essays may be lightly modified for readability or to protect the anonymity of contributors, but we do not edit essay examples prior to publication. (And nope, we don't source our examples from our editing service! Check out our Privacy and Content Sharing policies for more information.)
The essays in our library are intended to serve as content examples to inspire you as you write your own essay. They're not intended to be submitted as your own work, so we don't waste time removing every error. This allows our team to focus on improving the library and adding new essays.
The example essays in Kibin's library were written by real students for real classes. To protect the anonymity of contributors, we've removed their names and personal information from the essays. When citing an essay from our library, you can use "Kibin" as the author.
Kibin does not guarantee the accuracy, timeliness, or completeness of the essays in the library; essay content should not be construed as advice. For more information on choosing credible sources for your paper, check out this blog post.
Did you find something inaccurate, misleading, abusive, or otherwise problematic in this essay example? Let us know! We'll take a look right away.