The Good and Bad Side of the Internet and Social Media

This essay discusses some of the pros and cons of social media. The student notes that, despite some good intentions regarding its use, social media presents many dangers to young people's development.

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Bob's feedback:

"You explore some important aspects of social media use throughout this paper, and you touch on some important arguments regarding its effects on young people. However, your stance is unclear throughout the paper, and there are a number of problems with clarity, cohesiveness, and flow that should be addressed.

It's difficult to tell from your thesis statement whether you agree with the arguments you mention. Furthermore, "banning the internet" is a broad term. Do you mean something drastic, such as the internet itself being abolished, or a more measured approach, such as limiting children's online access? Do you support these measures or not? Some of your supporting paragraphs focus solely on the benefits of social media while others (including our conclusion) talk about the dangers. The transitions between the two viewpoints are largely nonexistent.

Work on establishing your own stance on the issue from the outset. It's certainly important to present opposing viewpoints, but make sure to do so within the framework of your argument and provide counters to those viewpoints.

The first sentences of your first and second paragraphs are nearly identical. There are several awkward transitions and abrupt topic shifts that occur throughout the paper. I suggest working with an editor to address these issues and make sure your paper presents a clear, cohesive argument."

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In-text citation:

(Kibin, 2024)

Reference list entry:

Kibin. (2024). The good and bad side of the internet and social media. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-good-and-bad-side-of-the-internet-and-social-media-PNI2SzPo

Be sure to capitalize proper nouns (e.g. Egypt) and titles (e.g. Macbeth) in the essay title portion of your citation.

In-text citation:

("The Good and Bad Side of the Internet and Social Media.")

Works Cited entry:

"The Good and Bad Side of the Internet and Social Media." Kibin, 2024, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-good-and-bad-side-of-the-internet-and-social-media-PNI2SzPo

Footnote:

1. "The Good and Bad Side of the Internet and Social Media." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-good-and-bad-side-of-the-internet-and-social-media-PNI2SzPo.

Bibliography entry:

"The Good and Bad Side of the Internet and Social Media." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-good-and-bad-side-of-the-internet-and-social-media-PNI2SzPo.