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Was Philip II of Macedon Responsible for the Rise of the Macedonian Empire?

This is a speech script the author gave to a class. The topic of the speech is the rise of the Macedonian Empire in the fourth century and whether Philip II of Macedon was responsible for it.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jenn's feedback:

"Overall, your paper is off to an excellent start. It is excellently formatted, which is essential for reading comprehension and the cohesiveness of the writing. You have also done a great job with the content of your paper. With every topic you chose to write about, you used immense detail and quotes from texts. I advise you to properly cite the texts you used and create a reference page to avoid any potential plagiarism issues. The central aspect of the paper that could use the most work is the organization. While you have included an introduction, it ends with a rather basic thesis statement, and it does not appear that you have included a conclusion. In your thesis statement, rather than saying "...by examining several issues..." state the issues you will examine. The body of the paper should then align with the thesis statement. For a conclusion, summarize the main points you covered in the document's body and relate them to the thesis statement. This will not only make it clear what the purpose of your paper is, but it will also show the reader that you stayed focused on that purpose throughout your writing. Writing conventions is the last aspect of your paper that needs a bit of help. The main issue I found regarded grammar. You have used present tense language about things that happened in the past."

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