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I began binge-eating when I was about seventeen I was lonely shy and lacking in self-esteem Every binge made me feel worse and mead me hate myself more I punished myself with more and more food Within months I was binge eating as a matter of course and I gained weight rapidly I loathed myself and only continued with normal life by pretending to be normal Bulimia Nervosa is a psychiatric disorder that is characterized by recurrent eating binges that are followed by self-induced vomiting or by laxative abuse During eating binges large amounts of easily ingested foods are consumed in a short period of time Binges almost always take place in secret The binges take place in private and often an appearance of normal eating is maintained in front of others Binges usually take place where food supplies are kept often the kitchen Usually The food in a binge is consumed very quickly It is stuffed into the mouth almost mechanically and barely chewed The first moments of binges are usually described as pleasurable but soon all the since of taste and pleasure is lost People describe binges as frantic and desperate The powerful craving for food is overwhelming So overwhelming that it drives them to behave in ways quite alien to their character They will take food belonging to their friends steal from stores or eat food that others have thrown away True binges typically consist of bulk foods which are filling and high in calories They also tend to be foods people regard as fattening and which they are attempting to exclude from their diet Binges are usually triggered by breaking a dietary rule discovering clothes to be too tight or small discovering weight to be higher than expected or feeling miserable or depressed I eat until I literally cannot eat anymore Then using my fingers I make myself sick Over the next half-hour drink water in between vomits I purge all
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