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How the French Revolution Improved the Rights of Jews in France

This essay on the French Revolution examines the impact on France's Jewish population. The student explains that while gaining rights and freedoms during this time period, French Jews continued to see setbacks, as in Napoleon's 1808 "Infamous Decree."
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"This is off to a good start, and with a focus on organization, clarity, and precision, you'll be able to head into the final stages of the writing process. Your broadest focus (the persecution and experiences of European Jews) is clearly attended to across the essay; however, the more specific areas of focus are a little fuzzier. The secondary focus appears to be the French Revolution and Napoleon, but the sequence and the absence of Napoleon in the introduction (and his inclusion in the conclusion) make it a little tricky to determine the weight of each of these narrower discussions. If Napoleon is a central focus, I suggest exploring the Infamous Decree more as exemplifying this topic.

Another opportunity to guide the reader more will be in streamlining the opening, which takes its time in arriving at the specific ("Before the French Revolution..."); to address this, consider fusing the first three sentences into 1-2 sentences that make the same point more efficiently or try opening the essay with "Before the French Revolution...", reorganizing the remaining sentences to align with the new opening."

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