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September 5 2000 Writing from Recall final draftAs a young girl nothing made me feel more grown-up than getting ready forholidays with my mom and her sisters The women on my moms side of the familygathered in a spare bedroom of my grandparents home and prepared themselves for thefestivities The excitement was exhilarating and I felt special to be included in this sacredritual at such a tender age Make-up cluttered the vanity countless articles of clothingpairs of pantyhose socks and shoes littered the bedroom floor and the noise from theconstant conversations was deafening As much fun as we had during those times thecore of these memories for me is the focus that was placed on our bodies I remember allthree of my aunts with my mom alongside pinching their thighs abdomens and buttocksand cursing every inch of flesh they had Though I will always cherish the times we spenttogether I cannot discount how these occasions helped contribute to the painful feelings Iwas already developing about my body These feelings eventually evolved into a lifelongdangerous dance with the eating disorder anorexia nervosaThe summer before my freshman year in high school my obsession with my bodyspun out of control I began to restrict my caloric intake and increase the intensity andfrequency of my exercising During this summer I also began to induce vomiting when Idid eat As I had hoped my weight plummeted twenty pounds before school started thatyear Friends and family noticed the drastic weight loss and I was frequentlycomplimented on my appearance I was careful not to let my secret out and continued mydestructive lifestyle High school was a roller coaster of weight gains and losses thatseemed to never end Several teachers began to voice concerns especially during thosetimes that my weight loss was more severe and friends were threatening to disclose myhabits to my parents Still I refused to admit I had an actual eating disorderI was hospitalized the first time in April
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