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123 Your St Hometown USA 12345 Frank LoBiondo co US Senate Washington DC Dear Senator LoBiondo Re Valentines Day After serious consideration and years of technical and psychological studies we the people have unanimously decided that as a matter of national importance Valentines Day should no longer be commemorated on February 14th Our studies have concluded that the Gregorian calendar as we Americans know it has been set up for those people who are involved in a romantic relationship Spring is the time of mating when animals as well as people find their soul mates However there are always a few stragglers that never quite seem to find their true love Those who do not find their mate in this period of time are offered a second chance during what we would call a summer fling As these relationships begin to blossom they celebrate Thanksgiving by spending the day at families houses eating turkey with all the trimmings and drinking the finest wine Not only do the families strengthen their bond so does the couple The next major celebrated event on the calendar is Christmas Christmas in the 90s isnt about the birth of Jesus Christ anymore its about who can get the perfect tree blinking lights as if there were a contest being held for the person who could stuff the most lights on one evergreen carolers candies cakes but most of all its about the mistle toe Now the poor lonely human who hasnt had a very thankful Thanksgiving is giving it hisher all Weve all seen them the people that walk around wearing mistle toe headbands as a last resort to connive a kiss just a measly little kiss But to these hopeless romantics its the world It is the fireworks on their forth of July and it is the feeling that lores them into a sens e of false security as if
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