In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). Loss prevention: how to stop shrinkage in retail. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/loss-prevention-how-to-stop-shrinkage-in-retail-nyVV289T
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Bridget's feedback:
"This essay is off to a good start. As your reader, I appreciated the clear definitions and outlining of purpose. I notice the essay ends abruptly with recommendations to prevent external theft, so do make sure to cover the signposted topic of administrative errors and then wrap up the discussion with a conclusion: this helps ease the reader out of the argumentation and cements the main takeaways in their mind.
Your writing has a good sense of flow and takes advantage of objective and formal diction. I spotted a number of moments where passive voice or similar (the use of "one" as a pronoun) created barriers to more direct or assertive statements. To demonstrate one example, we could revise the second-to-last sentence of the introduction as follows: "This essay will show just how the use of..." This is more assertive, directly telling the reader the task of the essay. Try exploring similar formulations to create other more active and efficient phrasings."
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In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). Loss prevention: how to stop shrinkage in retail. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/loss-prevention-how-to-stop-shrinkage-in-retail-nyVV289T
In-text citation:
("Loss Prevention: How to Stop Shrinkage in Retail.")
Works Cited entry:
"Loss Prevention: How to Stop Shrinkage in Retail." Kibin, 2024, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/loss-prevention-how-to-stop-shrinkage-in-retail-nyVV289T
Footnote:
1. "Loss Prevention: How to Stop Shrinkage in Retail." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/loss-prevention-how-to-stop-shrinkage-in-retail-nyVV289T.
Bibliography entry:
"Loss Prevention: How to Stop Shrinkage in Retail." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/loss-prevention-how-to-stop-shrinkage-in-retail-nyVV289T.
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