An Introduction to Influental Women in Our Society

Jenn's feedback:

"This is an excellent research topic that has a lot of potential. With some work invested into each aspect of the graded paper, I believe your essay can be even better. The first thing that makes for an excellent piece is its organization. A well-organized paper needs an introduction, a body, and a conclusion. The introduction of the paper should provide a brief, general summary of the topic you intend to cover and should end with a clear and concise thesis statement that outlines specific aspects of the topic you intend to cover and why those aspects are essential. The body of the paper should then align with the thesis statement, covering the topic aspects in detail. The conclusion will then summarize the main points you made in the body of the paper and relate them to the thesis statement. This will communicate the purpose of your essay more and show the reader that you remained focused on that purpose throughout your writing. As a reader, I believe you must present the content differently for the paper to have the impact that you want. For example, rather than creating lists of women, consider creating tables that show the women's names, the dates, and a few facts about each. Then, as for written content, consider including information about a few women who interested you the most. Also, each woman should have their own paragraph. I suggest you do not write a research paper in the first person. Overall, the formatting of your document is excellent. I recommend that you work on making the reference and survey section neater. The references should be left-aligned with hanging indents, and the survey should be in an appendix that starts on a separate page. Last are writing conventions. To improve reading comprehension and writing cohesion, some work needs to be invested into fixing grammar, sentence structure, and punctuation errors."

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