In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). Why we need to change our regressive attitudes about gambling. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-we-need-to-change-our-regressive-attitudes-about-gambling-4b2uvNDd
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Bridget's feedback:
"This essay has a lot of personality and voice that hooks the reader, and I urge you to preserve that as much as possible as you move forward into the next draft. The main concern is that repeated text and a rather unfocused structure make the purpose of the essay hard to parse -- the rhetorical reliance on ethos and pathos isn't quite up to the task of carrying the analysis or persuasion.
I suspect the repeated text is a simple matter of cleaning up the draft, so that might be the first area to tackle. I also recommend looking at the current first few paragraphs to consider if those need to be presented as staccato bursts, as they are now.
I do recommend incorporating sources and trimming away claims that cannot be substantiated (such as the stereotype about the Victorians). This will enhance the argumentation, solidify the ethos, and pull the discussion back from the brink of cliche."
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In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). Why we need to change our regressive attitudes about gambling. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-we-need-to-change-our-regressive-attitudes-about-gambling-4b2uvNDd
In-text citation:
("Why We Need to Change Our Regressive Attitudes about Gambling.")
Works Cited entry:
"Why We Need to Change Our Regressive Attitudes about Gambling." Kibin, 2024, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-we-need-to-change-our-regressive-attitudes-about-gambling-4b2uvNDd
Footnote:
1. "Why We Need to Change Our Regressive Attitudes about Gambling." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-we-need-to-change-our-regressive-attitudes-about-gambling-4b2uvNDd.
Bibliography entry:
"Why We Need to Change Our Regressive Attitudes about Gambling." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/why-we-need-to-change-our-regressive-attitudes-about-gambling-4b2uvNDd.
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