In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). Limits on women in colonial america. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/limits-on-women-in-colonial-america-CpGmNoFB
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Bridget's feedback:
"This is a solid draft that will provide a good foundation for moving forward via revision and some conceptual finetuning. The project of comparison in this essay currently sits rather uneasily, and the reader doesn't quite grasp the purpose until they've arrived at the end -- rather a long time to make your reader wait. It should be made immediately clear that you are describing white women; clarify as well if you are making a comparison to both Black enslaved men and women, or just Black enslaved women, and justify that choice of group for the purposes of this discussion.
Frankly, without clear and consistent terms, this analysis risks becoming a dishonest one. "African Americans" and then "Slaves" later evidences a too-flexible apparatus. Let's zoom in on one sentence to explore why these inconsistencies impact ethos and logic so heavily: "This is a time when women were not given equal rights to the common white man, as was true for the African Americans who also faced many grueling hardships." First, "women" could mean Black women, enslaved or not, as well; this is not the case elsewhere in the essay, so make sure your wording matches up. Second, "African Americans" (in the next paragraph called "slaves") hides that fact of enslavement in an attempt to equate the free white woman's experience with that of an enslaved person (unless you are indeed describing the "colonial black", perhaps a more useful term from one of your quotes, in order to encompass both freed and enslaved peoples -- I am not sure); reference to "white man" evokes a strawman to again flatten the distinctions between free and enslaved people. Again, aim for consistent, ethical diction -- and check terms and usage against your sources.
This brings me to a lower-order concern: do make sure to include source information in the text (and page numbers)."
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In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). Limits on women in colonial america. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/limits-on-women-in-colonial-america-CpGmNoFB
In-text citation:
("Limits on Women in Colonial America.")
Works Cited entry:
"Limits on Women in Colonial America." Kibin, 2024, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/limits-on-women-in-colonial-america-CpGmNoFB
Footnote:
1. "Limits on Women in Colonial America." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/limits-on-women-in-colonial-america-CpGmNoFB.
Bibliography entry:
"Limits on Women in Colonial America." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/limits-on-women-in-colonial-america-CpGmNoFB.
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