In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). An argument against trying children as adults. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/an-argument-against-trying-children-as-adults-793oHGfX
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Bridget's feedback:
"Using the current structure, which is clear and moves with logic, you can focus on persuasiveness and ethos by building out the argumentation using sourced evidence. I notice only one reference to a source (which we'll come back to below regarding purpose), but there are several missed opportunities where incorporating the ongoing conversation in the literature and media (such as challenging the law, para. 2) will deepen the reader's understanding of the subject as well as their comprehension of your work as researcher and author.
Regarding the purpose, the reference to the article makes me wonder what this essay's prompt and/or goals are. Is the purpose to defend a position? Is it a source evaluation? Use signposting and the abovementioned incorporation of sources to delineate the paper's angle of approach to the topic.
Another task will be proofreading. There are a number of errors, many of which look like typos that should be easy to catch and clean up. You will also want to consider the effects of more casual language ("dumbest decisions," "100% disagree") on ethos and persuasiveness; I recommend adjusting the word choice so the diction still reflects your stance and style while also maintaining a degree of formality (or, at the very least, avoiding overt informality)."
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In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). An argument against trying children as adults. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/an-argument-against-trying-children-as-adults-793oHGfX
In-text citation:
("An Argument against Trying Children as Adults.")
Works Cited entry:
"An Argument against Trying Children as Adults." Kibin, 2024, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/an-argument-against-trying-children-as-adults-793oHGfX
Footnote:
1. "An Argument against Trying Children as Adults." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/an-argument-against-trying-children-as-adults-793oHGfX.
Bibliography entry:
"An Argument against Trying Children as Adults." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/an-argument-against-trying-children-as-adults-793oHGfX.
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