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Word Count: 1,339
1 Well this day was a total waste of makeup 2 Well arent we just a ray of friggin sunshine 3 Make yourself at home Clean my kitchen 4 Not the brightest crayon in the box now are we 5 A hard-on doesnt count as personal growth 6 Dont bother me Im living happily ever after 7 Do I look like a censoreding people person 8 This isnt an office Its Hell with fluorescent lighting 9 I started out with nothing still have most of it left 10 I pretend to work They pretend to pay me 11 Ive found Jesus He was behind the sofa the whole time 13 Therapy is expensive popping bubble wrap is cheap You choose 14 Practice random acts of intelligence senseless acts of self-control 15 I like cats too Lets exchange recipes 16 If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet Ill put shoes on my cat 18 Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe 19 I wish for a world of peace harmony nakedness 20 Errors have been made Others will be blamed 21 Let me show you how the guards used to do it 22 And your crybaby whiny-assed opinion would be 23 Im not crazy Ive just been in a very bad mood for 30 years 24 See no evil hear no evil date no evil 25 Allow me to introduce myselves 26 Sarcasm is just one more service we offer 27 Whisper my favorite words Ill buy it for you 29 Whatever kind of look you were going for you missed 30 Suburbia where they tear out the trees then name streets after them 31 Do they ever shut up on your planet 32 Im just working here till a good fast-food job opens up 33 Are those your eyeballs I found them in my cleavage 34 Im not your type Im not inflatable 35 Im
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