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Word Count: 608
3 Driving tests do not adequately examine a persons driving ability Usually the person being tested does not have to drive very far The test does not require the skills that are used in everyday driving situations Supervisors of driving tests tend to be very lenientTo improve this paragraph we need to add supporting details which are facts ways to improve test like rush hours traffic use transaction words adding a concluding statement The phrase the person being tested does not have to drive very far could be made more specific by saying the person being tested only has to drive 5-6 blocks on their test In addition the sentence supervisors of driving tests tend to be very lenient is unspecific and should have an example of leniency with it4 Nursing homes are often sad places They are frequently located in ugly old buildings unfit for anyone The people there are lonely and bored Whats more theyre sometimes treated badly by the people who run the homes Its a shame something better cant be done for the elderlyIn this paragraph you can also improve it by putting examples and details The sentence Its a shame something better cant be done for the elderly is a weak false statement Something can be done and if the writer feels so strongly about the mistreatment of the elderly they should write about ways to improve their conditions Also the term ugly old building could be better worded by saying broken down building because everyones view of ugly differs Another way to make the paragraph stronger is to use specific examples of lonely and bored and say why the residents feel that wayC The following paragraph lacks common transition devices Fill in each blank with the appropriate transition word or key wordScientists continue to debate the cause of the dinosaurs disappearance One group claims the dinosaurs vanished after a comet smashed into the Earth dust and smoke eventually blocked
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