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Word Count: 405
You know those people who use curse words not to insult anyone but to emphasize their message Like a respected business man who says f every few minutes in a conversation about oil futures or hiring or saving panda bears A young mother of three living in a posh neighborhood who spices up her endless blurb about shopping and nail salons and house maids with an occasional curseIve been puzzled by this behavior for years Why did these words which cause a strong often negative reaction in many people become such a common part of our language Thinking about this it dawned on me that this is just a defense mechanism like being cynical or condescending They swear in order to hide something Im not talking about people who suffer from Tourette syndrome or more accurately Coprolalia - just normative folks who use expletives often hiding fears or insecurities By revealing part of their inner self and exposing their weakness they give us an opportunity to leverage what we have just learned about themOne option is to help them Try to figure out whats on their mind whats bothering them intimidating them or stressing them out Then see how you can help by making it easier for them to handle the situation Offering a solution is probably the wrong thing to do just be a good listenerYou can use your newly gained understanding to disarm them helping them calm down It might be that they got used to cussing all day and are completely oblivious to the root cause It is down there somewhere though and if you can help them pinpoint it you would do them a great favorAnother option is to use their weakness to your benefit In a negotiation setting when the other side utters the F word try to quickly figure out what they are insecure about - or better - why they are insecure about it They are probably
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