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Word Count: 1,099
Death is a funny thing Not so much funny ha-ha but rather the kind of funny that says I told you so The death of a loved one is inevitable in ones lifetime it happens to everyone I remember thinking about death a lot after my mother would tuck me in bed at night Id lie there and go through little scenarios in my mind Id imagine my mother dieing and how terrible it would be Id think about my best friend suddenly losing his life and slowly convince myself that it happened and would end up crying myself to sleep All of these thoughts were little fictional happenings in my brain that were probably not all that good to think about before I fell asleep but a childs mind will wander As I got older I actually had to deal with loved ones passing away My mom would pick up the phone as it was ringing and I didnt have to hear anything that was said to know that someone had died My mother would inhale sharply bite her bottom lip and bunch up her face like little kids do right before they start bawling She hang up the phone and Id hug her immediately to both comfort her and to hide my own face For some reason I could never cry immediately after I heard bad news but I felt guilty that I wasnt as sad as her Thats how I viewed death Just a simple phone call I never had to witness anything never saw someone suffer or anything like that If you dont have to look something like death directly in the face its easy to rationalize things You say things like It was his time she was suffering so much or Hes happier now Ive always been able to convince myself of things or of how I should feel about a certain situation These phrases aided me in brushing off
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