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Music and How Listening to It Affects Our Workout Routines

This is a research paper on music and working out. The author conducted an experiment to see if listening to music affects people's workouts and to see what type of music was most popular and works best when exercising.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Jenn's feedback:

"You have provided an extensive amount of evidence supporting your position. At the paragraph level, the ideas are presented in a logical and cohesive manner. At the sentence level, there are a number of issues that are affecting the readability and flow of the whole paper. Some of the transitions between sentences feel forced or as if ideas are unrelated. You have written your paper in a conversational tone which has the potential to impact the reader's perception of the validity of your data. Since this is intended to be a scholarly paper, phrases such as "I believe," "I think," "I feel," "I found," "I will," etc. should be removed and the paper should be written from a third person perspective. There are a large number of grammar, punctuation, and sentence structure errors that significantly impacting reader comprehension. When you are citing a text, make sure to always include the year of publication if it is available. When you present your data, if you decide to present a theory about why that data may have occurred, that theory should be something that was found in past research and cited. Last, your references and citations are inconsistently, and at times, are incorrectly formatted. If this is meant to be a paper written in APA style, make sure that you reference page is titled "References" and that your references are no more than double-spaced."

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