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Word Count: 442
I should be so happy Everything I have everwanted I simply have now The poularity the boys the clothes and more What the hell is wrong with me I go from happiest child alive to ultra depressed teenager in a matter of seconds All of a sudden I start to think and then im sad Everyone keeps telling me to relaxbut if you were me you would know that I cant Everyone is always watching judgeing my every move I sometimes miss the times when no one cared about me When I too along with so many other kids was simply a wallflower I was happy in my own way then Nothing to upset me But now that I know how it feels I can never go back to that Im now forever stuck in this world but I somehow love it The boyfriend makes me feel like im safe and special but at the same time I feel like just another one of his girls He holds my hand and it seems like its his job I freak out on him and he deals with my bullshit and stays I vent to him less and less Now I feel as though I have to be someone else to keep him happy Im just his girlfriend that he shows off in the wrong way sometimes All I want is for him to love me for me and to never push me away Or to make me feel unloved or useless Thats all I ask of him but he will never know that Im already starting to feel like the background music How far I have gone have gone scares me out of my right mind The next thing is sex and im not ready for that anytime soon But I love him too much that I will do anything for him Not this time He makes me feel like I want
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