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"Your essay is relatively well-organized with clear points of discussion in each of the body paragraphs. However, the content needs significant improvement. In your argument, you make sweeping generalizations, rely on personal anecdotes, and use only one outside source. Additionally, the recommendations made in the essay indicate a lack of understanding of the topic and suggest that more research needs to be done to attain a grasp of the complex interplay of issues that result in the achievement gap."