In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). Japanese gardens as expressions of history, religion, and culture. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/japanese-gardens-as-expressions-of-history-religion-and-culture-o4zGDMox
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Bridget's feedback:
"This is a strong essay with a demonstrated command of the topic. The higher-order concerns are sound, and your writing shows good control of the mechanics, flow, and tone. I do see opportunities to revise for clarity and style, as in the rather confusing and long first sentence of para. 2.
Your source use is solid, conveying ethos and expressing your research. The quotations are well integrated with the exception of two quotes at the bottom of page 2 and the Davidson quotations through the end of the essay; further, the Yoshida quotation may be better as a paraphrase, especially because you still have to follow up the quote by explaining what the new religion was.
As a final note, I'd like to suggest cutting the first sentence and reframing your opening to focus immediately on Japan. This helps assert the inherent importance of your topic beyond a comparative that depends on the Occidental gaze."
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In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). Japanese gardens as expressions of history, religion, and culture. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/japanese-gardens-as-expressions-of-history-religion-and-culture-o4zGDMox
In-text citation:
("Japanese Gardens as Expressions of History, Religion, and Culture.")
Works Cited entry:
"Japanese Gardens as Expressions of History, Religion, and Culture." Kibin, 2024, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/japanese-gardens-as-expressions-of-history-religion-and-culture-o4zGDMox
Footnote:
1. "Japanese Gardens as Expressions of History, Religion, and Culture." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/japanese-gardens-as-expressions-of-history-religion-and-culture-o4zGDMox.
Bibliography entry:
"Japanese Gardens as Expressions of History, Religion, and Culture." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/japanese-gardens-as-expressions-of-history-religion-and-culture-o4zGDMox.
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