1. Home

What We Can Learn from King Tut's Tomb

In this informative essay on the contents of King Tutankhamun's tomb, the student highlights such pieces as musical instruments, jewelry, and headrests. The student argues that the enduring beauty of the objects continues to fascinate modern viewers and spark interest in ancient Egypt.
PAGES
4
WORDS
1,360
  Cite
View Full Essay
About this essay
This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley
Generating Preview...
This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bridget's feedback:

"You've brought together fascinating details and examples that emphasize your point about the "importance and beauty" of the findings, creating a sense of purpose and interest for the reader. The first sentence of the second paragraph throws the reader right into the narrative--have you considered crafting the discovery as a hook, placing the current opening paragraph afterward? (I can also see the broader points about artwork and its effect on the viewer, para. 1, being used in the conclusion as you wrap things up.)

The main task as you move forward will be in lower-order concerns. Frequent use of passive voice tends to overcomplicate the information delivery. Similarly, the repeated "was found..." or "in King Tut's tomb" begins to build up after awhile; unless you need to assert this for clarity, you can trim these phrases because the reader knows "where" we are. For example, "One of the most peculiar artworks found in King Tut's tomb was a headrest" could be rewritten as, "One of the most peculiar objects is a headrest" or "An ivory headrest stands out as one of the most peculiar pieces.""

Learn more about this feedback