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The Cheetah's Survival Depends on Human Compassion

This paper discusses the declining cheetah population in the Serengeti and advocates measures to counteract it.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

predation
Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jim's feedback:

"It is good practice to avoid contractions in formal writing, although some formats permit them. You should also avoid informal expressions (e.g., “a lot”). To write “however … but” is like writing “however” twice. You write “very” in two consecutive sentences. You should reserve that word for when it counts. The possessive form of “it” is “its.” The behavior of the mother would not seem to increase infant mortality, but to maintain it. You should include a serial comma in lists. It is not required by all formats, but it often is. In a conditional situation, you should write “were” and not “was” (i.e., “if an effort were put forth”). Notice you write “liter” instead of “litter.” You also write “living in solitary.” That should be “living in solitude,” or better yet, “solitary living.” Also, “overpopulation” is one word. You end page 2 with an incomplete sentence, i.e., which lacks a verb acting on a noun. After that, you say the Thompson gazelle relies on the cheetah, and needs the cheetah, which is redundant. You misspell at least two words on the last page. You should check your grammar and spelling and work on more concise expression."

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