In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). The themes and musical styles that define christian pop-punk band mxpx. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-performance-of-a-christian-pop-punk-band-mxpx-a7ZpR2U4
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Bridget's feedback:
"You've done well in offering a clear account of the show and the songs you heard. The organization and structure facilitate a logical progression across the paragraphs, and the straightforward diction and syntax, along with sound mechanics, offer clarity.
Depending on the prompt, I'm curious where you can take the purpose of this piece. As a beat-by-beat description of the show, functioning as an introduction to the band and genre, this essay suffices. Is stopping there, however, a missed opportunity? The existing writing includes a number of moments that could become deeper discussions: in terms of the music (how you define pop punk at the start, the definition of how to identify punk music, the label of "Christian pop-punk"), the experience of attending a live show (e.g., your thoughts on the difference between hearing the music live versus a recording, or as an ethnographic or sociological study), and the themes you identify (morality, capitalism).
As a final comment, I notice the balance of the essay is given over to long quotations. I recommend highlighting those as they are now and assessing what fraction of the word count is your writing and what comes from the direct quotations. The middle paragraphs are mostly quotation with little intervention; start shifting those paragraphs toward analysis and carefully chosen phrases from the songs that you feel best exemplify the themes or qualities of the songwriting."
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In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). The themes and musical styles that define christian pop-punk band mxpx. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-performance-of-a-christian-pop-punk-band-mxpx-a7ZpR2U4
In-text citation:
("The Themes and Musical Styles that Define Christian Pop-Punk Band MxPx.")
Works Cited entry:
"The Themes and Musical Styles that Define Christian Pop-Punk Band MxPx." Kibin, 2024, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-performance-of-a-christian-pop-punk-band-mxpx-a7ZpR2U4
Footnote:
1. "The Themes and Musical Styles that Define Christian Pop-Punk Band MxPx." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-performance-of-a-christian-pop-punk-band-mxpx-a7ZpR2U4.
Bibliography entry:
"The Themes and Musical Styles that Define Christian Pop-Punk Band MxPx." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-performance-of-a-christian-pop-punk-band-mxpx-a7ZpR2U4.
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