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The Negative Effects of Fracking on the Environment

This argumentative essay uses two main arguments to highlight why fracking is harmful: it is hurting the environment and animals, and it is uses an excessive amount of natural resources. The student argues that even though proponents of fracking say it has benefits, the effects of it will forever damage the earth.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Crystal's feedback:

"Overall, you've done a lovely job with making sure to address all the essay structural elements (intro + a thesis statement, body paragraphs, counterargument, rebuttal, and conclusion), but a few aspects of them could be improved. First, your thesis statement could incorporate more specifics (especially regarding the focus of your first body paragraph) and tie in the broader takeaway you end with and (ideally) be all one cohesive sentence. Second, your body paragraphs feel like they just drop off at the end; make sure to bring them full circle to your topic sentence + thesis statement, and the second body paragraph strays from the focus of using an excessive amount of natural resources when it talks about animals. Third, in the counterargument, the "you may be saying…" angle is very informal and awkward. You also use a lot of first-person pronouns throughout the paper; most academic papers are best written in third-person point of view (avoiding “you” and the editorial use of "we," "us," etc.). Fourth, while your overall punctuation is in good shape, make sure to edit closely for capitalization errors and redundant phrasing (e.g., "reason why). Fifth, make sure that you're citing the information you've used from other sources, and consider tying in more support via statistics and other facts to strengthen your argument. Finally, while the very beginning would benefit from having a stronger hook (e.g., a shocking statistic or an anecdote), you do a great job with synthesizing your arguments in the conclusion about why fracking is harmful and end with a good takeaway message that creates finality. "

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