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How My Personal Experience Shapes My Thoughts on Racism and Race

This personal essay explores the student's own reactions and thoughts on racism in America, including their experience in the restaurant industry. The student adopts a nativist and colorblind approach in discussing American identity and the impact of racism.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

ethnic groups, racial groups
Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Bridget's feedback:

"You dive right into complex and challenging ideas in a frank manner. I do find it hard to determine if the two large paragraphs are meant to stand as one single essay or as two short responses. If this is a single essay, I suggest more evident paragraphing (this comment applies for two short essays, as well) and an introduction and conclusion that lets the reader know this essay is both a personal reflection and an argumentative paper. Whatever the genre or form here, I do recommend providing more sourced evidence for claims, particularly when implying specific examples ("some institutions" or "books treasured as classics"). This creates ethos and also helps the reader understand exactly what is being described. As a final note, I recommend supporting your claim about the interaction (or lack thereof) between stereotype and personal experience. These are such complex concepts that any claim about them should have some backing, as is relevant to the field you are writing this paper in or for."

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