In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). How the renaissance improved europe. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/how-the-renaissance-improved-europe-mH2w0K4n
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Bridget's feedback:
"You are off to a good start with this draft, and you've already tackled a major higher-order concern: structure. With your main points clearly organized into the paragraphs, which each show good focus, use of topic sentence, and transitions, you can start working with the elements on the page to advance forward in the writing process. First, I recommend bringing a little more into the introductory paragraph to signpost the discussions that take place in the later paragraphs (China, comparison to the Middle Ages). In doing this, you should also nail down your thesis: because the conclusion makes a comparison with the Middle Ages in particular, the reader may wonder if this is the main argument that you have set out to prove. Let them know if this is the case in your opening paragraph.
Another area for focus will be the writing conventions. As I read, I spotted a number of typos and errors that will ultimately distract your reader, including possessive apostrophe issues and comma splices. At the sentence level, make sure your claims are clear and don't overreach (such as the claim about the Sistine Chapel's style); checking these against your sources (and incorporating them as in-text citations) will really help establish credibility."
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In-text citation:
(Kibin, 2024)
Reference list entry:
Kibin. (2024). How the renaissance improved europe. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/how-the-renaissance-improved-europe-mH2w0K4n
In-text citation:
("How the Renaissance Improved Europe.")
Works Cited entry:
"How the Renaissance Improved Europe." Kibin, 2024, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/how-the-renaissance-improved-europe-mH2w0K4n
Footnote:
1. "How the Renaissance Improved Europe." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/how-the-renaissance-improved-europe-mH2w0K4n.
Bibliography entry:
"How the Renaissance Improved Europe." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/how-the-renaissance-improved-europe-mH2w0K4n.
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