The Harmful Effects of Electronic Devices on the Health of Humans and of Birds

This persuasive essay argues that electronic devices have very harmful effects on the health of both birds and humans. It links the radiation from these devices to bird fatalities and severe health impacts on children.

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Julie's feedback:

"You do have a focus in your paper (the harmful effects of radiation from electronic devices); however, your thesis statement (gadgets take us away from nature) doesn't match your content. In your paper, you make very controversial claims without providing strong evidence from reputable sources. You do refer to an MIT study but need to provide more detail about the study, as well as a fuller citation.

Your paper also has some issues with word choice: dyslexia is commonly characterized as a learning disorder not a psychological disease; the term "gadget" is overly broad ("electronic devices" might be an alternative). Your paper does have some punctuation errors (lack of commas after coordinating conjunctions and of semicolons between independent clauses. However, the lack of specific, substantial evidence given to back up some very large, controversial claims is the main concern to address."

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In-text citation:

(Kibin, 2025)

Reference list entry:

Kibin. (2025). The harmful effects of electronic devices on the health of humans and of birds. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-harmful-effects-of-electronic-devices-on-the-health-of-humans-and-of-birds-syZY9u3J

Be sure to capitalize proper nouns (e.g. Egypt) and titles (e.g. Macbeth) in the essay title portion of your citation.

In-text citation:

("The Harmful Effects of Electronic Devices on the Health of Humans and of Birds.")

Works Cited entry:

"The Harmful Effects of Electronic Devices on the Health of Humans and of Birds." Kibin, 2025, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-harmful-effects-of-electronic-devices-on-the-health-of-humans-and-of-birds-syZY9u3J

Footnote:

1. "The Harmful Effects of Electronic Devices on the Health of Humans and of Birds." Kibin, 2025. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-harmful-effects-of-electronic-devices-on-the-health-of-humans-and-of-birds-syZY9u3J.

Bibliography entry:

"The Harmful Effects of Electronic Devices on the Health of Humans and of Birds." Kibin, 2025. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/the-harmful-effects-of-electronic-devices-on-the-health-of-humans-and-of-birds-syZY9u3J.