More Efforts Should Be Made to Protect Endangered Sea Turtles

This essay addresses the threat of extinction faced by sea turtles. The student identifies several factors contributing to the turtles' dwindling numbers including unsafe fishing practices and pollution.

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Bob's feedback:

"You approach this subject with a serious attitude and present your view in a way that is engaging to readers. The example about the character from Finding Nemo is a great way to allow your audience to connect with your subject.

There is some awkwardness in much of the wording used in this essay. Consider the first sentence of your second paragraph, for example. Poachers killing sea turtles is one of the reasons that they are endangered, but it is not a reason they should be protected. Reasons for protection would include things like conservation of the species/avoiding the threat of extinction. Consider rewording this and the first sentence of the next paragraph.

Some of the information is presented in a disorganized way. Rather than listing facts, make sure that each idea transitions into the next smoothly. Be sure to proofread thoroughly as there are some grammar mistakes and awkward sentences that affect readability."

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In-text citation:

(Kibin, 2024)

Reference list entry:

Kibin. (2024). More efforts should be made to protect endangered sea turtles. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/more-efforts-should-be-made-to-protect-endangered-sea-turtles-XwcbhI2x

Be sure to capitalize proper nouns (e.g. Egypt) and titles (e.g. Macbeth) in the essay title portion of your citation.

In-text citation:

("More Efforts Should Be Made to Protect Endangered Sea Turtles.")

Works Cited entry:

"More Efforts Should Be Made to Protect Endangered Sea Turtles." Kibin, 2024, www.kibin.com/essay-examples/more-efforts-should-be-made-to-protect-endangered-sea-turtles-XwcbhI2x

Footnote:

1. "More Efforts Should Be Made to Protect Endangered Sea Turtles." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/more-efforts-should-be-made-to-protect-endangered-sea-turtles-XwcbhI2x.

Bibliography entry:

"More Efforts Should Be Made to Protect Endangered Sea Turtles." Kibin, 2024. http://www.kibin.com/essay-examples/more-efforts-should-be-made-to-protect-endangered-sea-turtles-XwcbhI2x.