The Philosophy of Success and Higher Education
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"You are off to a good start with this essay. You created a strong introduction that is convincing and has the ability to set the tone for the rest of the essay. Having said this, it does not feel as if the body of the essay aligns with the thesis statement. It also does not feel like your essay aligns with the title. You also have included a lot of personal experiences and perspectives to support your standpoint. Throughout the body of the essay, some of your transitions between ideas do not seem logical and lead to some confusion. This is most noticeable when you shift from talking about a characteristics of a strong professor to your passion in nursing to you experience tutoring. There are a minor amount of grammar and punctuation errors that an be resolved through a round of proofreading. The conclusion you chose to write lends to some confusion. While the title makes it seem like you are going to talk about higher education as a whole, and the body of the paper makes it seem like you are talking about professors specifically, the conclusion leads the reader to believe that you should have been talking about the specifics of higher education classes all along. "
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