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Improving the Process of Political Campaigning

This essay discusses problems in political campaigns, such as soft money, empty promises, and styles of campaigning.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

soft money
Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jim's feedback:

"Write concisely. For example, you can write the first two sentences as follows: “Political campaigns today have problems. One of these is ‘soft money.’” Another example is that you write “soft money” four times in the second paragraph; this is unnecessary. The third sentence has a comma that interrupts the flow. It is good practice to place a comma after the penultimate member of a list, and many formats require this. The meaning of “tedious items” is unclear, and you should consider your word choice. You use a comma splice in the third paragraph; this is the use of a comma to link what should be two sentences. In the same sentence, you write “to” instead of “too.” Later, you write, “There is several ways,” which matches a singular verb and a plural subject. You write “u” instead of “you” in the last paragraph. You should catch obvious errors like this by proofreading your work."

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