1. Home

The Need to Change the Individualistic Mentality of Our Society

This argumentative essay claims that connections among youth are inadequate for indivdual success and progress within society. The author claims that young people have become increasingly isolated despite advances in communication and connectivity.
PAGES
3
WORDS
743
  Cite
View Full Essay
About this essay
This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley
Generating Preview...
This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Bob's feedback:

"You have the beginnings of a convincing argument here. The main problem with your claims is that you make very broad statements without providing any support. As such, this comes off as an opinion without the force of evidence or analysis behind it.

You use several long, intricately worded sentences that tend to detract from your points. Several words are used incorrectly and several of these sentences are phrased awkwardly and thus difficult to parse. Work on making your ideas clear and concise, as well as providing stronger support for your claims. There are several grammatical errors that should be addressed by a thorough proofread as well."

Learn more about this feedback