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I didnt always see cancer as significant as I do now However due to how it has affected my life it is now very important to me not only because of the journey I went through with my father being diagnosed with it and dying from the disease but also how it has changed me and made me the person I am todayPancreatic cancer changed my life drastically and made me experience a more negative outlook on life during that time At the beginning I had hope for my dad when he was first diagnosed with the disease because not only did I believe in him and thought he could get through this but also because the many doctors who talked with my mother and I made us believe that he had a good chance of living even though it was not true I think this experience has made me not trust doctors as much and made me see most of them as selfish Seeing my dad go through this disease made me experience the kind of bad in life that I could not control I became a bit angrier at everyone because I always believed that my father could have survived I blamed not diagnosing the cancer and not finding it soon enough on the doctors I had a hard time in school and my grades quickly dropped I had depression I became very anti-social and stopped talking to all of my friends while my Dad was dying I didnt care about school or anybody and I would just lock myself in my room all the time and cry for hours wishing I was the one that had the disease instead of my father I was very emotional all the time and was always thinking about death and would wonder when it was my time to die or who else was going to die next My experience with seeing my dad like this felt
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