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All of life can be broken down into moments of transition or moments of revelation While thinking back on my life I have had many turning points but I think my time in the Air Force had some of the biggest The most profound started during my first deployment to Kuwait in September 2001 At this time I was still young and trying to understand who I was Just like every other 21 year old does I can remember hearing about the deployment to Kuwait when I first arrived at my duty station and was excited with the possibility to be part of it The deployment started off great with excitement about being out of the United States for the first time but towards the end of the deployment my decisions led to the start of my own personal hell that lasted for two years This hell began when I started to believe my own lies ignored who I truly was but ultimately led to discovering who I wasThere is a saying If you tell a lie long enough loud enough and often enough the people will believe it and this was true for me at the time There was something about me that I did not want to be true so I started to believe my own lies A little before I joined the Air Force I started to suspect I was gay but was not sure Then due to Dont Ask Dont Tell I had to lie so I could join the Air Force which did not help with my confusion For the most part I was able to ignore the possibility but some people suspected When someone would say something about me being gay I would naturally deny it and work harder to prove them wrong By the time I was in Kuwait I had buried the feelings
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