1. Home

A Break Up Letter

In this essay, the student takes on the viewpoint of a woman breaking up with her boyfriend in the form of a letter. By detailing the various offenses he has committed, the student explains why this woman has decided to end the relationship.
PAGES
2
WORDS
478
  Cite
View Full Essay
About this essay
This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley
Generating Preview...
This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Natalie's feedback:

"Having to write a breakup letter is such an interesting, unique assignment! You have a good start here, but there are several areas in need of revision. Firstly, I would recommend breaking up the text into paragraphs. A single-spaced block of text can be visually taxing on a reader. Breaking up your letter into sections would also help with another area needing revision: the organization. While you included several reasons for breaking up with Des, the arrangement of this content was a bit confusing and did not flow together from any sort of introduction to a conclusion. There are several ways of organizing a breakup letter. You could begin with the beginning of the relationship itself, when everything seemed good, before bringing up the various elements that led to the breakup, whether in chronological order or even order of the severity of the offenses. Be sure to clarify who Jason is as well when you first bring him up. Without any context, it takes a while for the reader to figure out who Jason is. Beyond that, there were also several grammatical errors that impacted the clarity of the letter. A great method for identifying such errors is to read your writing out loud, as this allows you to catch the spots where the writing gets snagged on a grammar or spelling mistake. Again, you have a good start here, but some editing is needed."

Learn more about this feedback