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A Cardiology Scribe's Personal Statement for Medical School

This personal statement describes the writer's experience as a cardiology scribe and how those experiences have impacted their desire to become a physician.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Erin's feedback:

"The introduction to your personal statement is strong! I love that you start off with an anecdote that puts the reader right into your shoes. I like the details you included -- "mini somersault," "white coat" -- and the specificity of what you were feeling and seeing. In fact, if your word count allows for it, I'd love to see you expand the third paragraph with a bit more of this detailed reflection. There are a few spots in which the wording or phrasing could be streamlined to eliminate awkwardness, and there are a few comma errors and stray grammatical errors that could be fixed up to make your writing really shine."

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