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A Chance Meeting: Friends or More?

This essay relates the story of a student who meets someone at karate class, has feelings for this person, and finds that it is not working out.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jim's feedback:

"This is a good recounting of events. I have a few suggestions to further improve your writing, as follows. The subject of the story is described in several incomplete sentences, which lack a verb acting on a subject. Tell the reader what “uil” is. Write out “7th” as “seventh.” Avoid comma splices (“Due to my injury …”); this is the use of a comma to separate what should be two sentences. It is explained twice that the writer had fractured an ankle. Avoid informal language, such as contractions. It is preferable when possible to write “her” and not “them,” and that is the case here. It is good to run a grammar check, both to improve a paper’s quality and to learn from mistakes. Essays should be read through at least once for a critical review. This can identify problems such as repeated information."

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