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A Comparison of the Indonesian Terrorist Groups, JAD and JI

This essay describes attacks carried out by two terrorist factions in Indonesia -- Jamaah Ansharut Daulah and Jemaah Islamiyah -- and makes the argument that, although both are a danger to Indonesia, one of them poses a greater threat.
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This essay received a C by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

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Bob's feedback:

"You have effectively demonstrated how dangerous both organizations are, as well as the need to halt their progress. However, your thesis states that you will determine which is the larger threat. While you've provided a list of attacks carried out by each group, there is little analysis that explains why one group is more effective or dangerous than the other aside from the final sentence of your essay. The assertion that JAD's attacks are more crude and massive should have clear support throughout the essay, and should be shown in comparison to the attacks carried out by JI. Be careful of run-on sentences and make sure to have your paper reviewed for sentence structure and word choice."

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