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A Comparison of the Japanese and United States Education Systems

This essay compares the Japanese and U.S. educational systems, primarily from the Japanese perspective, and identifies some positive and negative consequences.
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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

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This essay received a B by one of Kibin's paper graders. Click here to see what was done well and what needs improvement.

More essays like this:

educational system, japanese people
Not sure what I'd do without @Kibin
- Alfredo Alvarez, student @ Miami University
Exactly what I needed.
- Jenna Kraig, student @ UCLA
Wow. Most helpful essay resource ever!
- Chris Stochs, student @ UC Berkeley

View other essays like this one:

Jim's feedback:

"You can write more economically. For example, in your second paragraph, you could write, “The Japanese school year starts in April. Parents believe the April cherry blossoms bring their children luck.” You say that parents decided to make an eighth-grade (note this is hyphenated) camp. Did the parents make this decision? The next sentence is confusing, and you place “high school” in parentheses, which makes no sense. Note also that the second sentence in this essay has no period.

The sixth paragraph is quite long. It is good practice to use relatively short paragraphs that focus on a specific topic. Early on in this paragraph is a sentence that is not complete, i.e., it does not have a subject and verb, and you write “they’re” instead of “their.” You write a lengthy passage from an online story. Readers quickly tire of such things. You should write a brief summary and cite the article.

You write “fen” instead of “fend,” and “out standing” instead of “outstanding.” You fail to include a right parentheses at the end of one paragraph. You commit a comma splice, which is to link two sentences with a comma as if they constitute one sentence.

You make interesting observations, but grammatical problems make them hard to understand. You should use the grammar check feature when you write. This will identify issues that you can correct, and from which you can learn."

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