A Comparison of the Roman Empire and the Han Empire
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"You have created a compelling argument based on the documents you were given to analyze. None of your reasoning seems strained or far-fetched. However, note that you could put together a more integrated discussion if instead of having one body paragraph on each empire you created body paragraphs that were themed around different types of technological developments. For example, you could have a paragraph on buildings where you discuss the motivations for the Great Wall of China, the Colosseum, and Hadrian's Wall. This would also help in breaking down your lengthy paragraph on the Han Empire. Aside from that, in terms of writing conventions, items such as your inconsistent capitalization of terms should be addressed."
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