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Word Count: 1,159
For sure in a present existence that seems to me as diminutive as prehistory I too thought I would get married I speak of my seventh my twelve years of age However it is strange the more I organize and search through my memory of that person I was the less I find the word marriage As an only child I found myself observing wives husbands fiances the betrothed That even then gave me a mysterious annoyance What I really wanted as a girl I suppose was a partner to love and by whom to be loved forever as in the fairy tales I was so fond of Yet I felt an unconscious threat in the fairy tale which I am more aware of now a mortal risk what if such a lover kidnapped me for life Human beings are affiliative social animals Owen 85 I have never been a domestic animal I do not imagine myself happy locked up in the small cosmos of a monogamy household Furthermore the profession of wife and her domestic and subsistence tasks required for a household is existence has always filled me with horror I want to write to travel to know the world to use the miracle and right of having been born To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived Ralph Waldo Emerson writes of his success his dreams Giving up my name to someone else weakens my identity To annul myself in a way such as that why I am mine I have a soul and nothing can own someone or something with a soul Though somewhat confused unaware at times a human being with a feminist approach I can be a woman in a society invented and determined by men instead I never give this chance to give me an inferiority complex I never put any limitations on my plans and on my dreams On the contrary this reality provokes
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