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Word Count: 508
The Darwin Awards commemorate individuals who protect our gene pool by making the ultimate sacrifice of their own lives by eliminating themselves in an extraordinarily idiotic manner thereby improving our species chance of long-term survival In other words they are cautionary tales about people who kill themselves in really stupid ways and in doing so significantly improve the gene pool by eliminating themselves from the human race These individuals carry out disastrous plans that any average pre-teen knows are the result of a really bad idea The single-minded purpose and self-sacrifice of the winners and the spectacular means by which they snuff themselves make them candidates for the honor of winning a Darwin Award The terrorist who mails a letter bomb with insufficient postage deserves to win a Darwin Award when he blows himself up opening the returned package As does the fisherman who throws a lit stick of dynamite for his faithful golden retriever to fetch and return to him As do the surfers who celebrate a hurricane by throwing a beachfront party and getting washed out to sea Named in honor of Charles Darwin the father of evolution the Darwin Awards represent examples of evolution in action by showing what happens to people who are unable to cope with the basic dangers of the modern world The winner of the Darwin award in the year 2000 is Augusto and this is his storyLiving in Davao City in the Philippines this year Augusto was a man with a mission He boarded a Philippine Air flight to Manila and donned a ski mask and swim goggles Then he pulled out a gun and a grenade and announced that he was hijacking the plane Apparently security is a bit lax at the Davao City airportHe demanded that the plane return to Davao City but the pilots convinced him that the aircraft was low on fuel and they continued on toward Manila Augusto undaunted robbed the passengers
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